I will be 18 when my senior year begins. I don't enjoy living with my parents, at all. They're not abusive, but if they didn't have kids they would be divorced. The whole house is tense, and we have a large family so I feel pressured and like I don't have any privacy. I figure if I get another job now, and work a lot more over the next summer, I could pay for an apartment, or something. Or maybe a wealthier relative could pitch in. I was wondering what everyone's opinion would be on that: move out as soon as I could (what I want) or save the money for college? (My parents are convinced I could get a scholarship because I have fairly good grades and belong to a minority group.)
Your opinion on moving out while still in school?
Well, after a year, you're off to college.
So in my opinion, you should save that money for college, and just hold on for just one more year.
Just one more year.
Reply:I moved out at 16 I worked at a pharmacy delivering prescriptions. I hated my home as a kid (Oldest of six and mom ran a daycare) there was no peace ever. I got involved with drugs, got married/divorced and went to prison for over 12 years... today I own a very successful business and happen to love life. Staying at home is not easy but there are harder things in life to face, I'd try to stay as long as possible and get the best grades you can and make every effort to go to college. Good Luck
Reply:save it for college when you move out you will not be able to go to school.
Reply:You're crazy. Gut it out, stay home. Don't bug a "wealthier relative" -that's low class. If the relative offers thats one thing, but asking.....that's just plain trashy.
You'd be better off staying at home. It would be much easier. I wish I had that option when I was in college, unfortunatly I didn't and it sucked. It took me twice as long to graduate as it took my peers.
Don't be a fool, child. Stand strong on your own with your parents. Everything comes in good time.
Reply:I think this might have more to do with you wanting to be your own person than a necessity to remove yourself from a dysfunctional family...I don't think thats the best move since you still have at least one year left of high school..its hard enough to be on your own, work and try and get a couple college classes in per week...I felt like you at that age...my issue was personal, as soon as I turned 18, 3 weeks before graduating I moved out to my sisters home...looking back that was ridiculous...I should have stayed as long as I could and continued to work and save money while going to college and lived at hm.
Reply:It's up to you, and it's a good thing that you are considering your options.
Fact is, if you get another job now, and work a lot more over the next summer, you won't be at home very much anyway.
Spend your time at home getting along with your siblings, and focusing on creating happy memories of your last at-home days with them. Work as much as you can, save as much money as you can, and relegate your parents and their issues to the definite back burner where their issues belong, because face it, their lives will have very little or no effect on you from now on, anyway.
Moving out can be a solution, but it creates its own issues--maintaining a home, however small, is extra work.
Who says you're going to get much 'privacy' anyway? If I recall, I spent my four years of college with roommates, and it wasn't a period with a lot of private time (unless you count the 3 a.m. visits to the all-night library).
Be careful. The decisions you make at this time can affect the rest of your 20s, if not the rest of your life. Don't let your parents' situation or anything else push you into a situation that's not optimum for you.
Reply:You should really try to save up, unless you know you can get a good paying job. College has lots of expenses, and you should make sure you have outstanding grades, your not the only one thats counting on the money, and these days fairly good might not be enough. If you know that moving out will help you do better in school, then do it but don't count on everyone helping you for to long. In the end relatives might want to pitch in, but they don't have any obligation. Balance everything out.
Reply:Please save your money. There is no rush.Wait a few years at least and you'll be happy you did, cause you'll have a lot more money than hardly none at all.
Reply:I have some experience on this subject.. At age 19 I was a senior in high school and I moved out of my parents' place and moved in with my best friend. Unfortunately, all the late nights and partying (because I no longer had rules and structure) took a toll and I dropped out halfway through my senior year.
Looking back, I should've stayed home.. Trust me, there's gonna be plenty of time later in life for you to pay bills and be out on your own. Take advantage of a free roof and free food for as long as you can and keep saving up for that college education. You don't wanna end up a 27 year old landscaper that's had 2 back surgeries like me. ;-)
Good luck no matter what you decide! Only you know what's right for you.
Reply:Yeah but it's not just about being able to afford an apartment. You will also need enough money for groceries, and other types of expenses that come wiht living on your own.
I would stay living at home, saving up money, and then going far far far away for college.
Reply:I think even with tension and lack of privacy in the house, staying with your parents for the rest of high school is probably the best idea. If you save the money for college, even if you get a full scholarship, you can use it to cover living expenses then. It can be hard to make ends meet in college without going into a lot of debt.
If it's unpleasant to be home, you can probably save your sanity by being home as little as possible for the next year. If you're not feeling social, you can always go out by yourself someplace where it's quiet and people will leave you alone. Go to the library and surf the web or read or something, for example, or go for a walk in the park.
That said, I totally understand. I was itching to get out of my parents' house so badly since about the time I was 16. I finally got lucky and landed a summer job far, far away when I was 18 and then went to college in another city in the fall. But while I loved the freedom and being left alone when I wanted to be left alone, it turns out that living on your own has a whole new set of stresses that you mostly don't think about until you meet them. The landlords who rent the cheap apartments tend to be the most wildly unreasonable, for instance, and what do you do when it's below freezing at night and they "don't have time" to come turn on your furnace for the winter or fix the toilet so it doesn't leak all over the floor? What to do when your paycheque bounces and bills are due? What to do when your boss has a gambling problem and steals money from the cash register to take to the casino and then blames his employees so his wife won't get mad? What to do when you feel sick but can't afford to take the time off work and go to the doctor because you're out of sick leave? What do you do when the washing machine breaks at a particularly bad moment? What about when your roommate takes and/or breaks your things? Etc.. etc... Moving out trades one kind of BS for another kind of BS. It can be a welcome change, but don't fool yourself into thinking it'll be easier.
Reply:Your parents may have problems between them as you say and that can be stressfull at times, but you have a choice of visiting a relative to avoid observing that at the time. However, whatever their problems are, they do have faith in you and want the best for you as you state it indirectly. That is a difficult age, and studying may become difficult if you also add the responsibilities of taking care of life at that young age full of challenges, needing to depend totally on your own not only for survival but also learning about life while living it, and making the right decisions while learning.
I don't think a rich relative will support such move of yours, because it also sounds irrisponsible. All families have problems, some more than others, and the fact that your parents stay together because of their children says a lot more about them then you think. They are concerned for your welfare. Perhaps when school finishes, you can stay with some relatives or go to camp to rest out of the busy environment in the house, and need for privacy can be asserted at certain times or go to a friend's place for a weekend or relative for some space.
Yes you have a lot to think about but wasting money at this stage and trying out your luck may not prove to be such a good idea at your age and with your future.
College is very important for your future and where you also do most of your growing up at this age, and you will have the peace of mind about survival so you can foccus on your education. Also clothes and other amenities you will need at this age.
When you grow a little more and learned more through experience, you may undrerstand that such complex and difficult decisions at such difficult age are best postponed. You may come to understand your parents difficulties when you are more free and stable to make better choices for your life.
Reply:moving out will cause more problems and stress. you dont need while trying to concentrate on your school work. I say stay home keep to yourself focus on school. not whats going on around you. Life is hard on your own. get your education first. Life is hard without it. one has to crawl before they can walk
Reply:I can understand how the idea of moving out when you turn 18 would be a good idea, but its not. Trust me, I was 18 when I moved out, 3 days before graduation, I ended up not going to my graduation ceremony because I didn't want to have to see my parents. But, in all honesty, its not a good idea Most of your time, effort and money will go to the apartment and other necessities. If you wait, save up the money, and just hold on until you go to college, your effort will be much more well spent.
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