What is your opinion of dads who dont pay for their kids?

i reckon that dads who do not live with thier kids still have to pay for them as they are their flesh and blood and the mother still needs money for them to keep them fed and watered, so dads that go to court over the fact that the mother dont let them see the kid well she has every right to stop him if hes not payin maintenance why should he get to see the kid, its not him thats strugglin to keep the kid warm at night its the mum, dads have it too easy nowadays its not on.

What is your opinion of dads who dont pay for their kids?
yh your rite they can make girls pregnant but cant face there responsibilitys an every effort should be made for them to pay for there child/ren i think that men who have kids an that walk out on them should be made pay too house there child an feed there child after all mothers have a 24 hour a day job looking after them its only rite that guys financially pay for there childs upkeep, there is single dads out there too in the same position as us women our kids didnt ask to be brought in to the world it was two consenting adults yet only one that faces there responsibilitys come off it dead beat dads/mums sort ur heads out n start providing the life your kids deserve oh an by the way I WENT THRU CSA IN 2002 THEY ARE ONLY JUST PROCESSING MY CLAIM AN SAY THAT BECAUSE THEY HAVE ONLY JUST SENT HIM THE FORMS THEY CANT BACKDATE PAY LIKE ITS HIS KID WHY CANT THEY??? THEY DONT HAVE A CLUE WHAT THEY ARE DOING i do agree that women who use there kids against the blokes need a good kick up the bum its the children who suffer,, i my self have made every attempt for my childs father to be involved in his life but he doesnt wanna know would rather be off clubbing with his girlfriends n mates so horrid as it may seem i have given up trying to involve him cause its pointless an upsetting for my son that his dad doesnt care much easier an less upsetting telling him dad has gone
Reply:but is it fair for the child to lose a father over money?
Reply:Scum, no exceptions.
Reply:I think dads who do not pay for their kids, regardless of whether they live with them or not, should pay towards their upkeep.


But I guess if the mum has decided she doesn't want the dad in the kids life at all, then it would be difficult for him to offer upkeep and the mum may not want anything from him so sometimes it depends on the situation.
Reply:oi oi oi !


youre being very judgemental in your statement.


Im sure there are some fathers like those you have described, but im sure there are fathers who, not only pay maintenance for their children but also want to pay for the pleasure of seeing their children and buy them luxuries and treats when they have contact. And I believe no one has the RIGHT to stop any child from seeing their father, unless its a matter of safety for the child or if the child doesnt want to.


Ive seen mothers financially blackmail fathers with the children, with no consideration to what the child wants.


Not all Dads have it easy!
Reply:Some dads are scumbags and don't pay a nickle.They should be in court and be paying.It takes 2 to tango my friend.But then there are guys who really get it shoved.The poor guy is living in a dump paying 6-7 hundred to the ex-wife for the kids,but,she is living in a brand new home,got a brand new car.I don't find this fair at all to the guy.Why should he have nothing and she have the world by the ***.So it really depends on the situation.
Reply:What makes me sick is all the guys out there who brag about all the kids they have by different women and they aren't paying for any of them. These guys need to be castrated so they can't make anymore kids, and then the court need to garnish their paychecks for child support. NOW, the stupid women who sleep with men who have lots of kids by lots of babymamas need to have some sense slapped into them. Girls, if a man has kids and he's never been married, he has no business messing with you. His priority should be his kid(s) not running the streets trying to get some.
Reply:I am a single mum. Fathers should pay maintenance without question. Those who avoid it at all costs are ars****es, but I do not agree that the mother should stop them being able to see their kids.


Frustrating as it is for a mother, the child is the most important thing here, and keeping a child from his father is wrong, no matter how angry you are, you have no right to deny yr child his father.


Who will suffer in the long run? If the dad wont pay, take him to court, but do not use your child as a weapon. A mother may have to go through absolute hell to get money that should come willingly from a father, but that is nothing the child should know about. Unless a father is a risk, or danger to the child you cant keep him from his father. As much as you might want to to punish his dad, its a personal battle between parents, dont scar your child. If his dad wants to see him, hard as it is, you must let him and not bad mouth him. Believe me i know this is hard, I am there myself, but hell will freeze over before I let my son be affected by the irresponsible, hateful attitude his father has towards me.
Reply:Whilst growing up I found various letters about child maintenance while I was cleaning the house. My father never willingly paid for my maintenance and the child support agency can then take it from the wages. I myself thought that was a great thing to do rather than me go without. However, it fails mothers when these fathers can go and get another woman pregnant again and claim they have more mouths to feed so they have less money to spend on the children they don't see. Men with loads of children that they don't see disgust me.





I don't believe anyone has the right to make their children grow up without a father/mother, I myself know how much hurt I felt during my life with my father not being there. And stopping your kids see their father only gives you more work, you have to then be there to comfort them through sad nights where they miss him. Perhaps some dads would prefer to see their kids and spend money directly on their children, buying clothes etc., some mothers are not trustworthy these days, I must say.





It takes two to tango...TWO TO PAY!





But sometimes its the mother absent and the father supporting the children, so we can't say it's just men.





I went through times where I would have to eat at other family members houses a lot, there are hard times but I guess families have to pull together for a while and you get past it. But the emotional effect on the child is more than anyone could ever imagine,and I don't think the child support agency gets this...it's not all about money its about mental and emotional effects. But the fact a father needs to pay maintenance could bring them to actually spend time with their child like as if the mentality is "I have to pay for them why not invest my time too".





But I will say this, absent dads who DON'T PAY (because there are ones out there who do pay and love their children greatly) DO have it easy these days. Something has to be done, of course, but their is a higher rate of pregnancy now, especially teen pregnancy where this is bound to happen. I find it's men who abandon their women + child early on in the childs life who don't pay and this is because they have no kind of connection with the child.





They do take long to process things as do any big company, I don't think half of them at the CSA have gone through this process tbh, they do have a damn cheek when it comes to some stuff...but my last words are...No one,unless in unique + worrying circumstances, has the right to stop their kid's from seeing their other parent.





PinkMyst - The true question is what can REALLY be done about it?





x x x
Reply:Welcome to my world. My son is 12 and I have never seen a cent of support. I dont expect to until and unless my ex files for social security someday. This used to really upset me (and still does sometimes) but thats just the way it is. He is a junkie and a looser and his son wants nothing to do with him. I just say a prayer for my ex and hope that maybe someday he will get hit by a city bus or something and get a big settlement.
Reply:I can only speak from experience. The father of my children, my ex-husband, that was abusive from day one, does not take any responsibility for our children. I have raised them for 11 yrs. (all their lives) by myself. He has not done one thing. Not one Christmas or birthday present. He only says he wants to see them, but if given the opportunity, he declines. People like him (whether it be mothers or fathers) are disgusting and the world should have no use for them.
Reply:Bull....they must pay!!! I have that problem with the father of my kid...He got it easy with three kids with different people,but only one gets all the love,care,financial etc.... I will not let my child be exposed to a person that cant even fork out a bit of money to support her...when he can drink,party,friends etc.... I will fight that till the day i die...HI moved to another country and he has NO right over her because th law cant tell me so!!! Good luck...Nail him if you can!!xxx
Reply:can only go with my own experience, i have two kids and have not got a penny from their farther in about 4 years, but my kids now know about this and don't actually want to spend time with their dad at all, in my opinion it has affected the way they think about him,if only he wasn't so miserable he would have a good relationship with his kids
Reply:I found the divorce papers for my parents divorce when i was 7........it made is clear that my dad didn't give a sh!t what happened to me and my younger brother, but he was really worried my mum wouldn't give him back his football memorabilia from the attic. nice to know he had his priorities right! As's





People like this disgust me. The child maintenance should be taken out of their wages in the same way tax is so they have no choice about paying it. They have it far too easy.....it makes me sick. Just because the woman is more likely to be understanding and fair in the divorce or separation(in the case of my parents anyway), doesn't mean the man can take advantage of this. They should be forced to help out with the costs of raising the children. it is only fair when the woman has to raise them single handedly
Reply:About the same as mums who dont pay for them either !!
Reply:It's a Mans world,try sending the Kids to him for a Month and do something you want to do, that should cheer him up and make him smell the coffee lol.


I know a pipe dream, but it sounds good,doesn't it,in ans to your question Hell Yes, they helped get them here but getting them to accept responsibility is another story.


Threaten C.S.A,
Reply:total and utter selfish, ........,how do you think the child feels.
Reply:my opinion they aren't men and never will be and if i were making a decision as you must be shop him and he will be made to pay back money ! so do it now
Reply:Well as a single mother myself who was left with 2 kids under the age of 5 (at the time, it was 10 years ago we parted) who i have given every poss oppotunity for my ex to have his children(and he decides to have them once every 2 weeks for just over a day) as it was not their fault that we had parted, he has paid very little money to me for their support(believe me my son eats his share in loo roll its so minumal), i would say on and off it may have totalled to about 3-4 years worth out of the 10,the amount has never gone up and he stops it when his life is crap, the csa assessed him at 0.00(great huh). YET......... u have blokes as well as women (we can not forget the single dads too) who mess the kids about, give no support finically or emotionally who dont give a damm and get away with it and then u have the parents who ex takes the children away and pays over the odds but the ex will not let them see them...thats not fair either, all kids should be supported by BOTH their parents being they are in employment or on social because of circumstances for each and every one of us is different, but unfortunatly the government gets it wrong each time(as we can see the csa has closed down at present until they work out what is what)...


so i say wether the parents pay up or not the kids should be aloud to see both parents and the money side of things is to be settle in court by the court by every day people and that the absent parent should give at least min to the other parent(the same amouth for all) or take the responsiblity that they can not go on hoilday and can not buy expencive cars clothes etc or go ut on the beer...and at the end of the day the children are important.


And just to end my rant lol society should not judge people on benefits does not mean they love their kids any less than a couple, it does not make their kid good or badly behaved, each parent does their bit. i was on benefits ans was looked down on and im am now andhave been in work fulltime for over 5 years so ihave doen the best i can do for my kids.
Reply:tell me about it.......far too easy


they want to give their kids the earth at first, but when it dint suit them, well you would think we were asking for the earth.


all is wanted is best for the kids but do they see that. NO they think your a money grabber.
Reply:One word--loosers.
Reply:The courts consider visitation and child support two different issues. So if the father is not paying he still has the right to have visitation with the children. Now if you were not letting the father see the kids and there is a court order than he can bring the cops in on the scheduled week end visits and get the kids. If he were not paying his child support you would have to sue him in court it sucks.
Reply:I agree. It's not a one way street. Just because the woman actually gives birth to the child doesn't mean that she should have to be the only one financially supporting it! it takes two to tango!!
Reply:complete b*stards, my daughter is 9 her Dad has never paid a penny towards her so I finally went to CSA who after a year decided I was entitled to £2.50 a week not backdated even to date of claim. This was to start in January I have yet to receive a penny! And the b*stard and his new wife have just built homes in the Gambia and Brazil!!!! Bloody crazy world we live in!

pulling teeth